You know, I sat staring at my rug with my chin in my palm
and elbow on my desk--thinking…which direction do I want to go with this? What
do I want to say about the cross? What have I been feeling leading up to
Easter? As I tried to pin down a thought or an emotion, I began feeling
dizzy--like a tornado was swirling around me and I was whipping back and forth
trying to grasp onto something that had already whizzed past by the time my
hand got there. All of them begin swirling together into a great, powerful mass
until I can’t tell one from the other. There are too many emotions. It wells up
in my throat and I’m silent. I’m in awe. I’m amazed. I’m stricken—with love,
with humility, with reverence. Why did He do that for me? How could He do that
for me? I don’t deserve it. I can’t accept it. But I do…because He prompts me
to it. He opens my hands and with so much love in His eyes, He places it into
my palm and closes my fingers around it—asking me to accept a gift He
desperately wants to give me. Shame exchanged for freedom. Fear exchanged for
hope. Disillusionment exchanged for purpose. The list seems to be ever-growing. Thank you Jesus.
Love,
Nelly
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