Life Like a Cherry Bloosom

We have a cherry blossom tree in our backyard, and as things have been blooming here in California, this tree has been dormant. As everything else budded and then bloomed, I’ve been watching it hopefully. It’s fiery plum color and delicately shaped leaves are my favorite in all of the yard. With the same expectation, I’ve been watching the tall trees along the blacktop trail behind my neighborhood. The leaves on these trees make the most satisfying rustle as the breeze kicks through them, and I couldn’t wait to hear them again.

A week ago, I stood at the glass door looking out into the backyard, and all of a sudden, I yelped “it bloomed!” My sister was completely confused and I tried to explain that I had been watching it diligently with no reward, and now it had not just budded but full-on bloomed. Similarly, yesterday I took to the blacktop trails with both my parents and my dad pointed out that out of nowhere, the trees along the way had leaves. As I looked up at them with surprise, this thought came to me: I have been guilty of obsessively waiting, watching for my life to bloom, for God to bring fruit in outwardly visible ways.

 There has been so much spiritual and personal fruit in my life, so much so that I would say that I am a vastly better Christ follower than I was three years ago, but my life in the physical has felt slower. It has felt as if God has been directing my life in slow steps, while He had been making leaps and bounds in my heart. I understood that many of the things I wanted couldn’t be given until I had the character and spiritual strength to make the best use of them, but I felt that I was ready now to receive. At the beginning of the year, I watched a YouTube video in which it was suggested that you choose one word you want to be the motto of your year. I chose Prosper. I truly felt that this year would be the one in which all of the material advances I wished for would come to fruition. I have always been eager to do, never lazy or lacking in willingness, so there have been times when I watched others prosper and wondered why some of them got jobs and opportunities without even trying or looking for them. These kind of thoughts and comparisons can be dangerous, but when they come, the key is not to indulge them, suppress them, or hurl them at God, the key is to hand them to God. I asked Him these questions with a humble heart and He didn’t give me understanding right away, but He did give me peace that it was all under control. He reminded me to keep my eyes not on others’ walks, but keep them on my own.

As I looked up at those tall trees along the trails, God gave me understanding. Just as I had scrutinized the trees for signs of development, I had been scrutinizing my life for outward signs of prosperity. I watched everything else bloom and not my blossom tree, just as I watched others bloom and not me; I felt entitled to my life developing at the same time as everyone else’s. As I walked the trails, I smiled because I realized that with the trees, it wasn’t until I stopped obsessively watching them that did they bloom. My heart felt excitement and joy when another thought came: It was just like my dad had said, almost overnight these trees had bloomed. They didn’t just bud but they bloomed! I felt the promise that when I got busy with living, one day I would look up and realize my life had bloomed.

Love, Nelly